Whenever I am sick and sad I have this insane desire to just drop everything and drive until I see the ocean. All I want is to sit in my car with the heat on blast and watch the waves destroy themselves over and over again.
I am painting you
I am painting you in beer spills and dripped sunlight.
I am loving you
I am loving you like a kiss that hasn’t happened yet
I am holding your words like dreams that have yet to come true
keeping your name between my lips, your voice between my thighs
I am hoping for a resurrection in your arms
but I am uncertain and unsteady and a million other unbecomings
I am irreparable.
You are the movements that made the love lines across my hands
when I had long given them up as scars
I am not breathing steady
I am melting.
I will not be kind to you.
This is the starting line, and if you want it, it’s all heat from here.
I’ll make your pulse race, your knees weak, your brow sweat.
Your breath will come only in time to the beat of my heels down the hall.
I’ll leave scratches down your back and bruises down your throat.
You’ll have wet dreams about my mouth alone.
I’ll come to you with ropes between my hands and a wall around my heart
You’ll trace the arch of my back in your every memory
Your every sigh will echo with the ghost of my name.